There are crucial distinctions between having a healthy amount of self-confidence and possessing a deep and abiding sense of self-worth. This article will explore those differences, as well as how confidence and worth intersect. Understanding the nuances between confidence and worth are essential for fostering a nurturing journey toward true self-love. Additionally, we will explore meaningful ways to develop self-worth that can be started immediately.
Looking Without
We all have known a confident friend. The one that doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything. Or perhaps, if they have fear, they do not let it stop them from asserting themselves. Indeed, there may be times we wish we could have such self-confidence. We scold ourselves for not having more courage or smarts. From the outside, our friend seems to have everything we want. Imagine our surprise, when the same person we admire from afar shares their deepest insecurities. Notably, how poorly they view themselves. We find their sense of self-worth is very akin to our own! Under these circumstances, it would be understandable to be confused; until we comprehend the differentiation between confidence and worth.
Looking Within
Along the path of many self-love journeys, it is common to blur the lines between self-worth and self-confidence. Though they are interconnected, self-confidence is about belief in our abilities and performance. It’s believing we can do something well. Moreover, it’s not necessarily caring how we feel inside but projecting a sense of accomplishment on the outside. In essence, self-confidence fluctuates and tends to vary with external feedback. Meanwhile, self-worth is about knowing our intrinsic value. It is having a core belief, whether given to us or fostered by us, that we are inherently worthy of love. And to have our needs met. Moreover, with immense self-worth comes tender acceptance and a consistent practice of sweet self-compassion. For the most part, self-worth remains stable regardless of external circumstances or setbacks.
Self-Confidence Overview
1. Source:
Self-confidence comes from one’s belief in their abilities and skills. It is often situation-specific and can be influenced by past successes and feedback from others.
2. Focus:
The focus of self-confidence is on performance and capabilities. It revolves around how well we can execute tasks and achieve goals.
3. Dependency:
Self-confidence is more externally dependent. It results in extreme highs or extreme lows depending on recent accomplishments, failures, or external validation.
4. Development:
It can be developed through practice, learning new skills, and gaining experience. Positive reinforcement and overcoming challenges enhance self-confidence.
5. Manifestation:
Self-confidence often manifests itself in assertiveness, taking risks, and a willingness to try new things. Confident individuals are more likely to step out of their comfort zones.
Self-Worth Overview
1. Source:
Self-worth is an innate or developed value one places on one’s self. It is a deep-seated sense of being valuable and deserving of love and respect, regardless of external achievements.
2. Focus:
The focus of self-worth is on feeling valuable as a person. It is about recognizing and accepting one’s self beyond capabilities or accomplishments.
3. Dependency:
Having self-worth is more internally derived. It is less susceptible to instabilities and variabilities. True self-worth is stable, and in many cases is not wildly affected by external validation or criticism.
4. Development:
Developing self-worth involves self-acceptance, self-compassion, and a positive self-view. It holds space for inherent worthiness despite success or failure.
5. Manifestation:
Someone who enjoys self-worth manifests it in self-respect, setting healthy boundaries, and maintaining inner peace. Thereupon, these individuals will exhibit resilience and emotional stability.
How to Grow Self-Worth
Now that we understand the differences between self-confidence and self-worth, we can see that growing big love for ourselves means believing in our innate worthiness and divine right to have joy. Doing this will organically gift us a healthy dose of self-confidence. Embarking on a self-love journey to grow our self-worth is one of the most rewarding, sensational experiences of a lifetime. Below are several ways to start feeling more worthy immediately! Others will take a little more time.
🌿Practice self-compassion:
Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially in times of difficulty or failure. This may seem a simple sentence, Yet, if it is not your habit to not gift yourself what you so freely gift to others, it will be a monumental endeavor. Acclimate within yourself a daily granting of forgiveness, patience, space, and the opportunity to fail. There is no true failure anyway, except in not trying or being overly judgemental.
🌿Identify, challenge, and soften your self-talk:
Pay attention to your inner dialogue. Find opportunities to catch and replace critical thoughts about yourself with more positive ones. Speak to yourself inwardly the way you would speak to a small child. If you are not used to being gentle with you, this will seem cringy at first. But much of how we feel about ourselves comes from our earliest experiences and what others around us taught us about ourselves. As adults we are able to write our own self-worth stories, one re-directed thought at a time.
🌿Set boundaries:
Learn to say no to things that don’t align with your values or make you uncomfortable. This will be a difficult one for many. Because the reactions from people who do not have their own sense of positive self-worth are often severe. We worry about losing relationships or upsetting the people that we love. However, we must remember that cultivating a new life, in some aspects, will mean abandoning our old one. The people who will support us being our most authentic selves will stick around.
🌿Celebrate your achievements:
Acknowledge and celebrate even small accomplishments to build a sense of pride and self-worth. Beyond taking a day off, or going shopping, celebrating ourselves means feeling a sense of achievement deep within our center. In daily life it looks like accepting a compliment with a simple “Thank you, I appreciate that.” instead of deflecting. It might also mean deftly navigating someone else trying to steal your spotlight. Sometimes choosing to let it go, other times being your own advocate. Either way, you are your biggest fan.
🌿Cultivate gratitude:
Focus on what you appreciate about yourself, your life, and foster a positive self-perception. In a world filled with advice, opinions, talking heads, products to be sold to us, and expectations of culture and community, we must remember we are sovereign to choose our path. We can learn to make choices that align with our highest selves and then sit in rich gratitude for the life we have made.
🌿Engage in activities you enjoy:
Pursue hobbies and interests that bring you joy and a sense of fulfillment. Life is too short to work all the time. Although we will certainly go through stages that are labor intensive. However, sometimes those around us make us feel pursuing hobbies or activities we love is selfish or a waste of time. In reality, positive self-worth catapults individuals’ sense of playfulness and opens our souls to the magic among the mundane. Do things that make you feel alive.
🌿Surround yourself with supportive people:
Build relationships with people who uplift and encourage you. Limit time with those who undermine your self-worth. This is a step that will take time, but it will be an important one. Correspondingly, expect a healthy amount of trial and error as you begin showing up as your healthier self. There is real propensity, when we have had low self-concept in the past to be drawn to ‘broken birds’, or people who project a lot of negativity or unhealthy expectations onto us. We can be respectful and loving, while assertive and firm about our boundaries, all at the same time. Choosing to stay, or to go, in whatever relationship we choose, is always our choice.
🌿Set realistic goals:
Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps to build confidence and a sense of accomplishment. As each milestone progresses, reinforce your belief in your ability to achieve. Expect setbacks, even failure, as a natural part of growth. Individuals with positive self-worth know that rejection is always redirection. Treat unresolved or unsatisfactory results as learning experiences rather than reflections of your worth.
🌿Practice mindfulness:
There are many different ways to be mindful. For example, meditation and breath work. Additionally, seeking out teachings that expound on detaching the experience of your feelings from who you are. Feelings are what happen to us. They are not our identity unless we tell ourselves they are. Look for ways, in whatever capacity, to remain present and nonjudgmental. Cultivate awareness of your thoughts and feelings without attaching value judgments to them.
🌿Seek professional help:
If you would like to fast-track your self-worth and self-love journey, consider talking to a therapist. A trusted professional can help you explore the root causes of low self-worth and develop strategies to build it. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and it is more than okay to ask for support when you need it. With the right tools and support, each of us can cultivate a stronger sense of self-worth and lead a more fulfilling life.