Finding Peace During The Holiday
Hello Friend,
If you are feeling stressed, isolated, depressed, or deep sadness during this holiday season, this article is for you. Yes, there will be tips that could bring you unexpected good cheer. But mostly, we want you to know that – We see you. You matter. Whatever you’re feeling is okay. And remind you, there are ways of finding peace and serentity during the holidays, as well as every other day of the year.
Happy, Hectic, or Horrible
With all the hype, expectation, and pressure holiday seasons can bring, it is no wonder strong emotions bubble up inside us. Although we all want to find peace during the holidays, sometimes we swing from energetic and grateful one moment, to overwhelm and despair the next. Customs, retail advertisements, work parties, family members, and peers expect us to feel hopeful and upbeat just because an appointed day on the calendar says we should. The reality is, finding peace during the holidays depends on what we are going through. In real life, the demands of holiday preparations and participation can feel happy, hectic, or horrible.
Acknowledging What Is
When the holidays roll around, what we actually feel is not very serene. Many of us feel stressed, isolated, depressed, or deep sadness. Festive obligations can feel like a leaden blanket. During these times, it is important to remember we do not have to pretend we are fine. In fact, living in authenticity and having radical self-love, give us permission to feel exactly whatever we are feeling. We honor our bodies and our sovereignty when we are intentionally notice what is going on inside us. Further, when we hold space for the named emotion. The next crucial step to finding peace during the holidays is acknowledging what we are experiencing to other people. We can let them know we are being mindful of what is coming up for us. And that we plan to respect it. This, in turn, may affect plans or tasks we commit to.
Loneliest Time of the Year
For some, it is less about demands and expectations, and more about silence and lack. When we find ourselves without support, affiliation, or loved ones during the holidays, the sting of sorrow can feel sharper than at other times of the year. Indeed, grief has a language specific to ourselves that can be difficult to articulate to others. It is only natural some of us will feel a tsunami of sadness. We can be soft with ourselves and remember that feelings are never final. Not even agony and deep despair. Often, we are action-oriented and want to make the pain dissipate. But holding on, and feeling the weight of heartbreak, is what is needed. Finding peace during the holidays when in anguish can be challenging. But seeking support along the path will make a difference.
The Gift of Presence
Regardless of the demands for merry-making and socialization, or the absence of joy or connections, we can help pen the script of how we want our lives to go. In the book, The Untethered Soul, author Michael Singer teaches how we can transcend external factors despite how we feel. And learn to be the observer of our emotions. When we cultivate this skill, it enables us to manage the fluctuations of our energy. This will lessen the impact of stress, isolation, depression, and deep sadness. Through practice of mindfulness and meditation, “the development of consciousness can enable us all to dwell in the present moment and let go of painful thoughts and memories that keep us from achieving happiness and self-realization”. When we give ourselves the gift of learning to be mindful, it is building an internal path. A roadmap, if you will, that leads to, peacefulness not only during the holidays, but every day of our lives.
Tips and Tricks
Reach Out To Others to Find Peace During the Holidays
One of the benefits of technology is the abundance of opportunities to connect with others. Wherever possible, reach out to others and request time together whether in person, telephone, or via a virtual platform. If you do not have friends or family at this time, there are many free, fun, options. Meetups on the internet. Accordingly, take care to advocate for yourself. Ensure the group setting is safe and constructive. But putting yourself out there to meet people that have the same interests, or going through similar challenges, can greatly alleviate sadness and stress.
Start a Gratitude Journal to Find Peace During the Holidays
Purchase a journal, and make a list each day of things you are grateful for. Big or small, name them all. Then, before bed, review the list you made that morning. For better sleep, intentionally re-direct your thoughts to gratitude. Let the feelings fill you up. Studies show that people who incorporate a gratitude practice into their everyday lives report higher levels of emotional contentment and satisfaction.
Create New Traditions to Find Peace During the Holidays
There are always opportunities to make the holidays less about commercial goods or parties. And more about acts of kindness, human connection, or learning. Ideas for new traditions include baking cookies for your neighbors, being a Secret Santa, starting a DIY project, getting out into nature each day, joining a book club, learning about new cultures, having a holiday movie marathon, or volunteering. The options are endless. The beauty is determining what we would find rewarding.
Practice Self-Care to Find Peace During the Holidays
Perhaps there are things you have been putting off in regards to your self-care. For instance, if you are due for annual visits to see a primary care provider or specialist. Use the holiday months as the time to call and make all your needed appointments. Start taking those walks, or lifting weights for exercise. Begin that meditation practice, even if it’s only five minutes a day. Chart out affirmations, or make a list of self-development books you want to read. Putting the focus on loving yourself can help. And it will ease depression, sadness, or feelings of resentment of overgiving to everyone else.
Seek Professional Help to Find Peace During the Holidays
It is a beautiful act of self-love, and a sign of healing to take the step of seeking out professional help. Attending therapy is a sign of health and wisdom. Resist any tempation to feel ashamed. The best therapists are like mirrors. They assist us in seeing what is already inside of ourselves. Be bold when choosing a provider by doing adequate research. And have patience with the process. Therapy is finding a safe setting, with a safe person, that will help us examine what is deep inside our hearts.
The Gift of Peaceful Moments
There is a difference between happiness and peacefulness. Happiness is fleeting and often requires external factors. While peace comes from knowing that no matter what is going on around us, or even inside us, we will be okay.
There are no expectations of you, dear friend. Additionally, there is nothing you must be doing. And assuredly, there is no correct mood you should be feeling. Your worth is not dependent on what you have, what you give, or what you have accomplished. Finding peace during the holidays may not be easy. But you are not alone. Not physically, nor in the way you feel. Know that you are worthy and that your feelings matter. Not only during this season,, but every single day.